Choose Your Inputs

There’s a popular message in the world of personal growth: “You shouldn’t care what other people think.” And while it sounds empowering, it’s also… not very helpful. Because you do care. And so do I. As we’ve said, our brains evolved to be exquisitely sensitive to social approval, rejection, and belonging. In the world of our ancestors, being accepted by the group meant safety. Being excluded meant danger, or death! That wiring hasn’t changed. And even when we know we’re “safe,” our bodies still react. As an illustration, imagine I show you a picture of a snake or a hairy spider or something, your brain and body will react subtly, even though you know it’s not real. Social comparison works the same way. You might know you shouldn’t compare. Just like you might know that the people on social media are curating their happiest moments… The same way you know that the models in a magazine are airbrushed and styled for hours… But your brain still reacts. You still feel the comparison. The self-doubt. The pull. Ok, so if we can’t turn off the reaction, what can we do? We change the input. We may not be able to stop caring what others think—but we can change who we’re around, what we see, and where we spend our social attention. For example If social media always leaves you feeling less-than, the solution isn’t to “be stronger.” The solution might be to log out—or at least be more deliberate about who you chose to follow. Or if magazines or shows create unrealistic body comparisons, you can stop consuming them. You don’t need to fight the instinct—you can sidestep the trigger. If you’re drawn toward more meaningful work, and you get invited to a dinner full of people who define success by corporate titles and hustle… you can say no. And if someone invites you to a gathering with creatives, makers, or people who align more closely with your evolving values—maybe that’s a nudge to say yes. So today, I’d like you to Audit Your Social Inputs. Ask yourself: Who or what do I expose myself to that leads to unnecessary comparison, pressure, or emotional pull? Who do I want to expose myself to more often—people, media, environments that reflect what matters most to me? What’s one small shift I could make this week to realign my social inputs with the life I want to live? To sum up, caring what others think isn’t weakness—it’s wiring. You don’t need to override it, but you do need to design for it. That way, it’s not a question of choosing whether you’ll be influenced, but choosing by whom. That’s how we live by design.