Boundaries

I want to start this module by talking about boundaries and how important it is for us to learn how to set them. As I mentioned in the introduction, many women reach this stage of life after years of putting everyone else before themselves. We are natural caregivers — it’s part of our nature to look after others. Women are also often natural people-pleasers. I know many who would describe themselves that way — I’m definitely a recovering people-pleaser myself. I think this conditioning starts early. When I was researching for a lecture on eating disorders, I came across something fascinating — one reason eating disorders are more common in women is that, from a young age, girls are taught to put others’ needs before their own. Over time, this leads to suppressing personal needs and desires. Eventually, that suppression seeks expression — often through control, restriction, or overindulgence, such as in disordered eating patterns. This social conditioning begins young — “Be kind,” “Don’t upset anyone,” “Be nice.” Of course, we want to raise kind, compassionate people, but there’s a fine line. Many of us grow up believing that our role is to keep everyone happy, avoid making a fuss, and stay agreeable. That pattern follows us into adulthood — through careers, relationships, motherhood — until we hit a point in our late 30s, 40s, or 50s where our hormones shift, progesterone declines, and suddenly, we have less tolerance for constantly giving without receiving. Everything starts to feel heavier. We reach burnout. And without the hormonal support we once had, it becomes harder to keep pushing through. But this can also be an empowering turning point — the moment we say, “I’m done mothering everyone else.” For generations, women at this age would have had grown children. Today, many of us are still raising kids while managing careers, homes, and aging parents. I know this firsthand — my daughter is 11, and I’m 50. So yes, we’re still mothering — but the truth is, we need to mother ourselves too. Of course, we can’t just pack up and live in a cabin in the woods (even if that sounds tempting!). The question is: how can we create boundaries when we haven’t had them for so long? That’s why we’re starting here — because boundaries are one of the most powerful shifts you can make for your hormonal and emotional health. Start by asking yourself: What are you saying “yes” to that drains you? What’s no longer aligned with who you are now? What can you let go of, delegate, or say “no” to without guilt? For me, solitude is essential. Taking time alone — a morning walk, a quiet afternoon, or even a solo gym session — helps me reset my nervous system. I’ve learned to communicate those needs clearly. I simply tell my family, “This is what I’m doing.” And the truth is, people adapt. We set the tone in our relationships and homes. So, don’t be afraid to do that. Boundaries are not selfish — they’re self-respect in action. Think about where you need them most — at home, at work, in your social life. If you’ve been the one saying “yes” to everything and carrying everyone else’s load, it’s time to share it. Ask for help. Delegate. Reclaim your time. Even small changes matter — micro-moments throughout the day or week where you can pause, breathe, and regulate your nervous system. Start reflecting on what kind of boundaries and moments of solitude would support you best. Then, take gentle but clear steps to make them part of your life. Now, let’s move on to talk about sleep.