The Social Nervous System & the Hidden Stress Women Carry

We talked a little about the root cause — culturally being obsessed with pushing, producing, and living in a way that is far more linear than the hormonally female body is biologically designed to be. This constant pressure cascades into a chronic stress cycle, which creates repercussions throughout our physiology. Trauma plays a role too. I talk a lot about the nervous system, and we also have a social nervous system. In the hormonally female body, our social nervous system is highly developed because we need to be able to bond. Whether or not we have children, this wiring is part of our biology — if we did have a baby, we would need to be able to bond with that baby. We need to be able to protect that baby. And we also need to be protected during the more vulnerable phases of our lives. We play a large role in maintaining relationships and community. We have higher levels of bonding hormones like estrogen and oxytocin, which give us our “superpowers” — strong intuition, the ability to sacrifice for the good of the group, and the ability to fight fiercely when we need to, like a mama bear. And this applies whether we have children or not. But this also means shame can play a big role. If we don’t fit into what culture believes we should be, or if we’re not able to express ourselves fully, that gets stuck in our system. We can deeply internalize it, and that has a profound effect on our mental, emotional, and physical health. This can create a stress response in the system.