Power of 21 days

Now, why have I picked 21 days? Lots of people talk about 21 days to build a habit or 21 days to break a habit. I would say that’s a little bit too simplistic. If you’ve got a habit that’s been deeply embedded since you were a child, it may take a little bit longer to undo and switch. For other things, it might be quicker. It really depends on the habit and it depends on you. Because of what we know about neuroplasticity, 21 days feels like a good amount of time to work with the brain’s ability to change, without it feeling too daunting. When I was set an exercise for six weeks, it felt like a very long time. So we’re working with 21 days because there is support for the idea that this is a manageable timeframe for habit change. The reason we can change habits is down to neuroplasticity. This is our brain’s ability to change and form new pathways. Let me give you a simple example. When you go out in the morning, you might put on a certain pair of shoes, grab your keys, and go straight to the car. That pathway is very strong. It’s automatic. Now imagine you want to change that habit. You want to leave ten minutes earlier, put on your trainers, and take a walk around the park before getting in the car. At first, this takes effort because you’re trying to weaken that old pathway and build a new one. The old habit is like a superhighway in the brain, and the new habit is a small pathway that you’re just starting to carve. To support this, you need attention and intention. Helpful nudges make a difference. You might put your trainers by the door, move your other shoes away, add a note to the door, or set a reminder on your phone. These cues help bring the habit into your awareness. In the first few days, you’ll probably forget sometimes. That’s normal. Each day you practice the new habit, the new pathway gets stronger. When neurons fire together, they wire together. Over time, the new pathway becomes stronger and the old one becomes weaker. At the beginning, it will feel effortful. That’s why it’s important not to add too many things at once. Everything will feel a bit harder at first, but it does get easier. Even something like a gratitude practice can feel effortful initially. You might think, “I have to build in five minutes now to feel grateful.” But with time, it becomes more natural. The key is to build on what already works for you. You already have supportive practices in your day. From there, turn to these trusted positive psychology interventions. Pick one, two, or three to play around with in the first week. Think about how you feel, what time and energy you have, and choose what feels inviting. Don’t go with what you think you should do. Make it easy for yourself. You can plan, pair practices together, and personalize them. For example, if you’re changing a habit, you might pair it with something you already do, like leaving your keys in your trainers. If a practice doesn’t feel natural, pivot it. When I first tried gratitude, I couldn’t sit at the end of the day and write things down. But I could do it on my morning walk around the park, and that felt much more natural. Remember, progress over perfection. This process should feel enjoyable. If you have perfectionist tendencies, let those go. Focus on what supports you, what fits into your life, and what feels sustainable.