Curiosity vs. Criticism

Curiosity vs. Criticism We know that changing the way we think is possible, but we also know it takes time. However, the more we draw on our self-insights when trying to adopt different perspectives, the easier it will be. With that in mind, this practice will be a good one for you if you see yourself in any of the following: - Are quite analytical. - Would like to shift/quieten negative self-talk. - Get stuck ruminating on challenging experiences. - Get frustrated by advice like: ‘don’t worry about it’, ‘let it go’ or worse, ‘just don’t think about it’, This one represents a subtle but do-able shift in how you reflect on your experiences and on yourself. It works on bringing a different focus and quality to your thinking, leaning from rumination into curious self-reflection, giving your mind a more helpful role. To clarify… Rumination is what we are doing when we negatively replay events in our mind. Not surprisingly, rumination really undermines wellbeing and is associated with depression. Curious self-reflection on the other hand is shown to support wellbeing. Moving from one to the other represents a small but hugely beneficial shift. How to practise it When you feel self-criticism creeping in or notice that you are ruminating, start reflecting with questions like this (pick appropriate to the situation): - What would I like to have gone better? - What prompted that response in me? - Would I be this hard on someone else? - What is this self-criticism giving me if anything? - What factors were at play e.g. tiredness, stress, limited time etc.? Tips for practising and personalisation. - This is not about asking questions like ‘why am I so useless at this?’. Take the judgement out of your questions. - If the answers don’t come immediately, don’t worry, just give yourself one to ponder on… it will give your mind something more helpful to preoccupy itself with!