Navigating Change

…the kind of crazy thing is change is the most constant and predictable thing in life. In the next five years, all of us will go through change that we search for and maybe didn’t search for. So I suppose the first thing we can do is try and make peace with that. The second thing we can do is go, “You know what? Positive psychology has lots of insights and tools to help me navigate that.” I’ve got loads on change, but I think these are five nice bite-sized things to take away. Number one: the old adage — and you may feel like rolling your eyes — but focus on what you can control, not on what you can’t. You know, in the face of enormous change, like COVID and lockdown or a terrible diagnosis, we can’t change the thing itself. But we can maybe focus on our day-to-day practices. There are always things we can focus on to support our wellbeing. I firmly believe that. No matter how bad things are, there’s something you can do to support yourself. Number two really changed things for me: Balance attention between what may change and what will stay the same. Fine — that’s where we put our attention when we’re going through change. But what could remain the same? And this steadies you. You never hear anybody who is about to embark on a big restructuring at work talk about everything that’s going to stay the same. All they do is talk about the change afoot. And it’s really unsteadying because if you’re going to take an NLP approach to this, we’re basically telling ourselves everything is in flux — and it’s not true. You know, moving overseas is a big change, but actually, for the most part, we’re still eating the same foods, listening to the same music. We’ve got the same approach to our days. I’m with my husband. I’m with my kids. We’ve got the same furniture. Focusing on what can really steady us — that’s one of my top tips. Number three is putting your oxygen mask on. If you’re approaching something big, build resilience and wider wellbeing because that will support you through. So think about yourself at a two going through change versus yourself at an eight. Circumstances the same, if you’re a seven or eight, you’ll be more resilient, optimistic. You’re going to be able to ride the waves better. You’re going to make better choices. You’re going to trust yourself more. Remember your own track record. There is nobody here today who hasn’t gone through challenges or change in life. They may have been hard, but there will be some rich insights to be gained from that. You got through them because you’re on this call. Number five — we can have a tendency in the face of change to look outward for answers. Brilliant to be curious and have an interest in learning, but sometimes we also need to go within. Information can come from outside, but if we’re trying to make choices about the next chapter and what’s right for us, we need to go inside. We have to know our values and what matters to us and what supports us to make self-aligned choices. So just to reiterate: information may come from outside, but also go within, trust yourself. You’re much more likely to make self-aligned choices, which leads to a self-concordant life… which leads to higher wellbeing. Hopefully one thing stuck. Maybe something made you go, “Ah, I hadn’t thought of that,” or there’s an idea or at least a reminder that there are good things you can build on. Drop them in the chat if it helps cement it. As an Aura practitioner, I’m here to help if you’re working on channeling with a coach, but you’d also like help from an actual coach, you can find me on the Aura app.