If You’re Ready, You’ll Breeze Through It. If Not, You’ll Learn a Lot.

I had always been told I was mature for my age—quiet, sensitive, intuitive, someone who often withdrew (some would say mostly). But what I didn’t expect was that by my late 30s—38, to be precise—I would start feeling old.

Someone who loved running every day, I suddenly found myself exhausted. I had led massive sales teams with confidence, yet now my stress resilience was so low that I could burst into tears when my 4-year-old son refused to eat—again. My libido? Non-existent. In fact, it was negative—I felt irrationally angry (as he would see it! say it!) to my wonderful husband for no reason.

My PMS had always been difficult, but now I barely had a single good week each month. My period, once predictable, had gone rogue—28 days, then 25, then 22, then back to 25. I felt as if I were moving through molasses, drained and disconnected.

And let’s not even start on the emotional rollercoaster. My sleep was awful. I lay awake spiraling into negative thoughts, which was ironic, considering I lived by the principles of positive psychology. I knew something was off—it wasn’t just in my mind.

Seeking Answers: The Dead End of Conventional Advice

Like many women, I did the rounds of gynecologists. Their advice?

• “This is normal.”
• “Just get pregnant.”
• “Go on birth control.”
• “Try meditating.”

None of these answers felt right. I knew my body. Something deeper was happening. 

Then I turned to Ayurveda and positive psychology coaching, and for the first time, I felt seen. The questions Ayurvedic practitioners asked me weren’t about just my periods but my lifestyle, my emotions, my energy levels, my digestion. Suddenly, it all started making sense.

The Wake-Up Call: My Lifestyle Was a Mess

When I took an honest look at my daily habits, I had a wake-up call:

 

• Skipping breakfast—just coffee and something sugary.
• Barely eating lunch.
• Late nights on my phone, drinking alcohol a few times a week.
• Compounded by poor sleep and high stress.

Sure, I was running and meditating, so I assumed I was doing everything right. But I wasn’t supporting my hormones, my nervous system, or my energy reserves.

And then came the weird symptoms—tinnitus (a butterfly fluttering in my ear), tingling fingers and toes, random aches and pains.

The Shift: A Simple Step That Changed Everything

I attended a 2-day silent retreat in Singapore, organized by the Art of Living. It wasn’t just the retreat that shifted things—it was the habit it sparked.

Afterwards, I made one small change:
I started sleeping on time and said no to alcohol.

That one simple step created a ripple effect. I felt a bit more balanced, so I made more changes. My husband, seeing my struggles, gifted me three books:
The Hormone Cure by Sarah Gottfried
Ayurveda for Women by Robert Svoboda
Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life by Claudia Welch

And suddenly, all the dots started connecting.

Perimenopause: The Science Behind the Transition

Perimenopause isn’t a disease—it’s a biological transition that every woman will go through at some point, typically starting late 30s/ early 40s. 

In Ayurveda, aging is understood as a natural Vata-increasing process, and perimenopause is a significant life transition that aligns with Vedic philosophy on the stages of life (Ashramas).

According to Ayurveda, life is divided into three primary stages, each governed by a dominant dosha:

1. Kapha Stage (Childhood – Birth to Early Adulthood) → Growth, nourishment, and development.
2. Pitta Stage (Adulthood – Mid-20s to Late 30s/Early 40s) → Peak energy, ambition, and transformation.
3. Vata Stage (Mid-40s and Beyond) → Wisdom, introspection, and change.

Perimenopause marks the shift from Pitta-dominated life to Vata-dominated life, bringing profound physical, emotional, and spiritual transformations.

Perimenopause as a Sacred Transformation

In Vedic wisdom, this transition is not just biological but also psychological and spiritual. It represents the gradual shift away from external achievements (Pitta phase) toward inner wisdom and self-reflection (Vata phase).

This is why some women may feel a deep yearning for meaning, purpose, or solitude during perimenopause. The energy once directed outward (career, family, responsibilities) now seeks inward exploration and self-care. At AURA, women aged 39 to 44 peak, with a common theme around seeking deeper meaning and purpose in life.

Referring to evolutionary psychology, by this age our kids would have been out of home, the worldly troubles would be a thing of the past. We would be settling into a phase of renewal, wisdom, and strength.

So, our bodies were geared to make some physiological and psychological shifts which don’t align with the lives we lead anymore. Probably, by now you are wondering what’s actually happening inside the body? Let’s break it down step by step.

The Ovaries Are Slowing Down

Your ovaries are responsible for producing estrogen and progesterone, the two key reproductive hormones. As you approach your late 30s and early 40s, the ovaries don’t function as efficiently as they used to. They start producing less progesterone first, followed by irregular estrogen levels.

I love progesterone! Progesterone is your calming, stress-buffering hormone. It promotes relaxation and counterbalances the effects of cortisol (your stress hormone). When progesterone starts declining, it leads to mood swings, anxiety, sleep disturbances, and lower stress resilience. Estrogen starts fluctuating—some days high, some days low—causing symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, and irregular periods.

In Ayurveda, our uterus is the earth and as its role starts to diminish in our 40s Vata or the Air element starts to rise. But, imbalance contributes to irregular menstrual cycles, dryness – affecting the skin, hair, joints, and vaginal tissues, anxiety and nervousness, Sleep disturbances, digestive fluctuations. 

 

The Progesterone Steal: Stress Is Making It Worse

The body prioritizes survival over reproduction. If your body is under chronic stress, it diverts resources away from making progesterone and towards making cortisol, the stress hormone. This is called the “Progesterone Steal”—when too much stress depletes your progesterone even faster. And this is what caught me and is probably catching you off guard. Our body prioritizes cortisol production while our progesterone reserves are starting to run low. 

Doubly whammy! 

More cortisol = More anxiety, less sleep, more belly fat, and worse mood swings.

Less progesterone = More irritability, more PMS, and heavier, unpredictable periods.

Cycle Length Becomes Unpredictable

In our younger years, the menstrual cycle follows a predictable rhythm, regulated by the rise and fall of estrogen and progesterone. Each month, ovulation (the release of an egg) triggers the corpus luteum—the temporary gland formed from the ruptured follicle—to produce progesterone.

But during perimenopause, ovulation becomes irregular or may not occur at all. Since progesterone is primarily produced after ovulation, less frequent ovulation means less progesterone production.

And the shabhang! 

• Shorter cycles? Estrogen spikes too early, causing intense PMS, breast tenderness, and bloating.
• Longer cycles? Estrogen stays too low for too long, leading to brain fog, low libido, and vaginal dryness.
• No ovulation? No progesterone to counterbalance estrogen, making PMS, anxiety, and heavy periods worse.

 

Sleep Becomes a Struggle and Poor Sleep leads to Struggle

As estrogen fluctuates, it impacts serotonin and melatonin production, which regulate mood and sleep. As progesterone declines, GABA (your brain’s calming neurotransmitter) also decreases. This makes it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.

• Low progesterone → Increased night waking, racing thoughts, and light sleep.
• High cortisol at night → You lie awake thinking about all the things that could go wrong.

Metabolism Slows Down & Weight Shifts

Estrogen helps regulate insulin and metabolism. As it fluctuates, your body becomes more insulin-resistant, making it easier to store fat (especially around the belly). Muscle mass naturally declines with age, slowing down metabolism.

You may gain weight even if your diet hasn’t changed. Your body stores more fat around the abdomen instead of the hips and thighs. A slower metabolism can make you feel more sluggish and fatigued. Blood sugar fluctuations can cause mood swings and intense cravings.

Libido Drops (And It’s Not Just in Your Head)

Estrogen, testosterone, and oxytocin all contribute to sexual desire and pleasure. When estrogen drops too low, vaginal dryness increases, making sex less comfortable. Testosterone levels (which fuel desire) also decline gradually in the 40s. You don’t feel like yourself—intimacy feels more like a chore than a connection. Resentment or emotional distance from your partner can build without realizing why. Now, I know why my husband was so irritating

• Less estrogen + Less testosterone = Lower libido, less sexual sensitivity, and less pleasure.
• More stress = Less oxytocin, which reduces intimacy and bonding feelings.

Find your phenotype for your unique protocol

Perimenopause doesn’t affect all women in the same way. Your body type, hormonal history, and metabolic tendencies play a significant role in how you experience perimenopause.

In Ayurveda and modern medicine, different phenotypes (body and hormone types) respond to perimenopause in distinct ways. Understanding your unique type can help you tailor the right strategies for a smoother transition.

The “Lean, Mean Machine” (High Cortisol, High Vata-Pitta, Low Estrogen) – this is me! 

Who You Are:

Naturally lean, fast metabolism, high-energy personality. Likely had intense PMS in younger years. Postpartum recovery was difficult—possible history of anxiety, sleep deprivation, or prolonged fatigue. High cortisol levels due to stress-driven lifestyle (high achiever, go-getter).

How Perimenopause Affects You: 

Estrogen drops early, making you more prone to irritability, anxiety, and mood swings. Worsening sleep patterns—frequent waking, trouble falling asleep, and light sleep. Weight loss or inability to gain weight, but also muscle loss and fatigue. More sensitive to stress and overstimulation, leading to adrenal burnout and nervous system exhaustion. Increased risk of bone loss (osteopenia/osteoporosis) due to lower estrogen levels.

Key Supportive Strategies:

Grounding, calming, and strengthening practices. Think hugging a tree, walking bare foot on grass, spiritual practices, healthy fats, proteins, strength training. Supplements (with consultation) Magnesium, Shatvari and Ashwagandha to soothe the nervous system and improve sleep.

The “Earth Mama” (Kapha-Pitta, Balanced Estrogen, Moderate Cortisol)

Who You Are: 

Naturally curvier or heavier-set, stable metabolism. Periods were not fun, but not extreme—some cramps, some mood swings, but manageable. Postpartum was steady—not easy, but not overwhelming. Grounded personality, more emotionally resilient but prone to fatigue or sluggishness.

How Perimenopause Affects You:

Slower metabolism, leading to weight gain (especially around the belly). Heavier periods before they start to decline. More fatigue, less motivation, and tendency to feel stuck or unmotivated. Increased fluid retention, bloating, and sluggish digestion. More insulin resistance—prone to blood sugar fluctuations and sugar cravings.

Key Supportive Strategies:

More movement and metabolism-boosting foods (think spices like turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, black pepper).  Intermittent fasting (if appropriate for your energy levels) to balance insulin. Strength training and aerobic exercise to maintain muscle mass. Avoiding dairy and heavy, cold foods to prevent excess Kapha buildup. Supplements (with expert advice) like Berberine, Vitamin D, and Chromium for metabolic balance.

The “Androgen Queen” (High Androgens, PCOS History, Insulin Resistance)

Who You Are:

Past or current history of PCOS, irregular cycles, or high testosterone levels. May have unwanted hair growth (hirsutism) or history of cystic acne. Tendency to gain weight in the abdomen rather than hips/thighs. Higher muscle mass naturally, but prone to blood sugar issues.

How Perimenopause Affects You:

More severe hormonal fluctuations—some months high estrogen, others very low. Insulin resistance increases, making weight harder to manage. More stubborn belly fat, especially if stress levels are high. Testosterone drops, leading to lower libido, muscle loss, and energy dips. Mood swings and brain fog as glucose regulation changes.

Key Supportive Strategies:

Balancing blood sugar with protein-rich meals, fiber, and healthy fats. Strength training and metabolic conditioning workouts for insulin sensitivity. Inositol, Omega-3s, and Magnesium (with expert advice) to regulate hormones. Adaptogenic herbs like Rhodiola and Maca to balance energy and stress. Caffeine moderation to prevent blood sugar crashes.

Your unique protocol, but there are some common themes

Your protocol will be unique to your phenotype, medical history, any medical conditions etc. At the same time, this should not prevent you from getting started on some ‘no harm’ but ‘massive benefit’ shifts. Choose just one that intuitively feels right for you. Get started and follow through – then add one more after a 7 day streak. I am sharing a few ideas that have worked wonders for me. 

• Create a Daily Rhythm: Aligning Cortisol and Dinacharya

Both Ayurveda’s Dinacharya (daily routine) and modern cortisol science emphasize the importance of a structured day for hormonal stability.

Wake up with the sun – Align your wake time with natural cortisol rises and get morning sunlight exposure (the pineal gland (deep in the brain) is light-sensitive—morning sunlight signals it to stop melatonin production and triggers a natural cortisol rise.)

• Make Lunch Your Biggest Meal 

Both Ayurveda and modern science emphasize that digestion and metabolism are strongest in the middle of the day. This is the ideal time for a nutrient-dense, balanced meal 

• Exercise Wisely (Not Just Harder)

Avoid excessive high-intensity workouts, as they increase cortisol and can deplete progesterone. Instead, focus on Strength training, Yoga & Pilates and Brisk Walking 

• Prioritize Sleep (Deep Rest = Hormonal Reset)

Aim for at least 7-9 hours of deep sleep per night.

 

Every woman’s perimenopause journey is unique. For me, the most powerful reframe has been thinking of this phase of my life as an internal game. I am not out there to prove myself or get points. I am making choices based on my deep inner intuition as I continue to nourish my family and myself.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that if you are a woman seeking clarity, direction or just something to hold on to you found words or thoughts that deeply resonated with you. I also know that because you are here, you are a seeker – and seekers don’t just survive they thrive. I wish you health, happiness and wisdom in this phase of your life.

If you liked reading this article please share it with someone who may find it useful.

 

References

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